Karmas return, p.7
Karma's Return, page 7
Tilting my head, I looked at the others and realized that I could see their auras too. Excited that I might have been left with some of my powers after all, I zoomed in on the outsider, trying to read her mind, but no words came to me. All I got was a wall of insecurity and sadness, but the gray color of her aura had already told me that much. Once again, I tried to move past her state of mind to read her precise thoughts, but I couldn’t.
I tried focusing in on one of the other girls, silently ordering her to put down the ball she was holding, but nothing happened.
With a sigh, I concluded that the reason I could still see auras and read emotions was a simple matter of my soul being ancient.
Eager to make Emma some new friends, I ignored the strong resistance in her body and walked over to join the group of girls. As I approached, they tightened the circle and lowered their voices to conspiratorial whispers. It effectively left out the girl standing on the outskirt, who brushed her nose with her shoulder and looked around. I wondered what it was about her that made the others exclude her. Her black hair was braided closely to her scalp and her white shoes contrasted her chocolate skin beautifully. This girl had the kindest brown eyes but right now her gaze was darting around the gym.
For a moment, I stood captivated by the fascinating awkwardness of the situation. As Karma, I was tempted to walk over and help the girls understand how rude they were behaving, but that approach hadn’t been successful with the table of girls at lunch. I was aware that this generation had different social norms than I was used to and the last thing I wanted to do was make things worse for Emma.
Falling back on the universal truth that the fastest way out of your own misery is to help someone else out of theirs, I tried a new strategy and focused on the other outsider on the team. After searching my brain for the name of the girl, I called out to her, “Ebony.”
She looked relieved to get an excuse to walk away from the group.
“What’s up?” she asked, hugging the basketball in her arms like it was a protective shield against the world.
Offering her the attention the group of girls had denied her, I asked, “How’s your day going?”
She shrugged. “It’s okay. How about you?”
“Well, I didn’t fall into any trash cans today so that’s a step up from yesterday.” My laughter was untroubled and made some of the other girls look over. “What about you? Did you avoid any drama, or have you generously contributed with something interesting for the students to talk about?”
Ebony smiled. “I try to lie low for the most part, but I did raise my hand in English today and called Mr. Becker out on taking forever to grade our papers.”
“Good for you.”
Ebony stood a little straighter and opened her mouth to speak, but she was interrupted when the coach blew his whistle and shouted for us to hustle.
For the first few minutes, coach Thomsen stood with a scowl on his face and talked to us about grades. I didn’t listen much but took the time to study the girls. A few were normal in height, but several of them were tall and strong as Amazon warriors. I already knew from walking the hallways that Emma was tall but standing next to some of the tallest girls in the group, Emma was nowhere close to their height.
When practice quickly flew into high gear, I had to trust Emma’s muscle memory. The ball felt like an extension of my hand, and I was impressed with the control I had over it. I’d never played this game before, but the challenge of placing the ball in a small net high above my head was amusing to me. This was the first time I’d felt Emma’s body be remotely at peace. It was a paradox to me that basketball was clearly her happy zone when, at the same time, Emma was affected deeply by the social toxicity that permeated in this gym. I indulged in the distraction of playing with the ball.
“Let’s get some scrimmage going. Starters will be on offense first,” the coach announced. I knew Emma was one of the varsity starters and along with Kate and three others, I walked up and took my spot on the wing.
Other girls had filled in on defense when the coach waved his hand in the air and called out to the two girls who stood on the baseline of the court.
“Don’t make me worry about substitutions. Handle it yourself.”
It was soon clear that the hostility Kate and some of the other girls had treated me with so far translated onto the court as well. In the two minutes I had been on the court, the only times I had touched the ball was when I got a rebound.
“Emma, I’ve got you.” A girl came to sub me out.
I waited a few rotations before I subbed in for someone else. But only fifteen seconds later another girl named Maddie came to sub me out.
“I was just out,” I protested.
Without meeting my eyes, she took my spot and said, “It doesn’t matter.”
When it happened for the fifth time, I understood that the girls were conspiring against Emma to give her as little playing time as possible. And the few minutes I was on the court, they didn’t pass me the ball.
Determined to help Emma stand her ground, I took a fortifying breath and subbed for the point guard, who hadn’t been out a single time while I’d already been out five times.
Standing at the top on the key with the ball, I’d only been in for ten seconds when Kate came walking toward me but instead of subbing me out like she had the last two times, she subbed out my defender. I looked at the girl in front of me and wondered what made her dislike Emma so much. With her toned body and her dark smooth skin, her big lips, and her long lashes, she was pretty. But it would take warmth in her eyes and a kind smile to ever call her beautiful. Holding her arms out, she squatted a little, showing me that she was ready.
As soon as I started dribbling the ball, Kate was in my face, pushing me with her body. I expected the coach to tell her to back up as it was a clear violation of the rules, but a side glance to Mr. Thomsen told me he was distracted by a group of young men entering the gym.
Passing the ball, I expected Kate to back away, but she gave a hard shove at my chest and made me almost lose my balance. This isn’t basketball. This is assault.
It was hard to focus with the way Emma’s body reacted to the young men walking through the gym. There was an energy shift among the girls and with my senses, I picked up that their interest was aimed at one boy in particular. He was tall and carried himself with confidence like a true leader of his small pack.
“No football players allowed in this gym,” one of the subs teased while the rest of us kept playing.
“We’re just taking a short cut to the weight room,” the confident guy called back.
“Quit it. You’re distracting my girls,” Thomsen yelled after them, but he was smiling, and I sensed the respect in the room for the football players.
With a fast spin move, I made myself open and called for the ball. I would have been right under the basket to score, but the girl with the ball didn’t want to pass it to me. Kate kept playing defense in a reckless way that made me think her goal wasn’t to get the ball, but to hurt me.
“Emma, I’m taking your spot,” one of the other girls called out to me and subbed me out for the sixth time.
Watching from the baseline, my jaw tightened. Kate didn’t defend anyone else the way she had with me and two of the starters hadn’t been out yet.
It was unfair for the group to gang up on Emma like this and no matter how much I searched her brain, I couldn’t find any memories of her doing these girls wrong. Without my powers, I couldn’t help these mean girls see how cruel their behavior was, but the coach could, so I jogged to where he was standing on the sideline, yelling for the girls to pass the ball faster.
“Coach, they keep subbing me out every few seconds, even when the ball has only been live once.”
“Argh, don’t take it personally. Just go back in.” He waved his hand through the air dismissing me.
I walked back to the baseline and after a few rotations I was about to sub myself in when I heard Caroline yell out “K, I’ve got you.” This made me decide to stay on the baseline for one more rotation for a chance to talk to her. Kate had taken her place at the opposite side of the baseline, so I walked up to her while putting on my kindest smile.
“Hey, Kate, I’ve noticed how you defend me ten times harder than anyone else.”
Her body froze and she kept her eyes locked on the game, ignoring me.
“Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks. I appreciate you working so hard to make me the best player I can be.”
Her box braids flew through the air as she swung her head toward me. Her eyes had turned from a dark brown to black and although she didn’t utter a word, her hard-pressed lips and flaring nostrils said it all.
“Alright, that was all. I hope you have a great day.” I smiled over my shoulder as I headed toward a girl named Amy to sub her out of the game.
I tried to ignore the girls from then on out as their energy was draining to me. Thomsen interrupted the game to correct a mistake. With my focus on the coach, I didn’t see when Amy threw the ball hard in my direction.
“Emma,” Amy called out, giving me just enough time to turn my head enough that the ball hit me right in my face.
The pain was excruciating and had me sinking to my knees. I hadn’t felt physical pain like this in millennia and it was so much worse than I remembered. My hand flew to my face to dry the tears that came as an automated response.
“Emma, let me see! Did you break your nose?” Coach Thomsen came over and pulled away my hand. That’s when I saw it was covered in blood.
“Your nose looks fine, but you cracked your lip open.” The coach turned and called out for Amy to take me to the medic.
Feeling dizzy from the blow, I stood up and followed Amy out the door and down toward the basement. We walked side by side in silence until she turned her head to me and asked, “Are you okay?”
With the taste of blood in my mouth I wanted to laugh at the ridiculous question. But instead, I just answered with a short, “No.”
She didn’t respond but just opened the door to Nurse Marley’s office.
“What happened?” Marley asked with her gaze zooming in on my bleeding lip.
“She got hit in the head with a ball,” Amy explained without saying that she was the one who threw it.
“Thank you, I’ll take it from here.” Marley waved me over to an examination table. “Sit here for a second. You have to catch the balls with your hands and not your head.”
“I normally do, but that’s hard when people throw it while your head is turned.”
She handed me a wet paper towel for my lip and went to her desk to find some forms that she placed on a clipboard. “How did you feel when you were hit?”
“Dizzy.” I responded. “Did I get all the blood?”
Marley took the wet towel and studied my lip. “It’s already swollen, but the bleeding has stopped. I need to check your pupils for signs of a concussion.”
After looking into my eyes, and having me walk around the room, Marley went over a series of questions to determine signs of a concussion.
“Alright, Emma.” She put her pen down. “We can’t take any chances when it’s your head. I’m going to mark this as a potential concussion. You’ll have to stay home from school and basketball practice tomorrow and avoid screen time for now.”
It annoyed me because my time in Emma’s body was limited and being at home wouldn’t make it any easier to make her new friends.
“I’ll have your coaches notify your parents. And I want you to check in with me the day after tomorrow.” Marley said in a serious tone before walking me upstairs to inform Coach Thomsen and the assistant coach that I was out until further notice.
As I sat down on the bleachers and took off my basketball shoes, the girls were still playing like normal. Soon they would be finishing up. Packing my bag, I stood up and swung it across my shoulders with a last glance to the court.
I was disappointed when Ebony was the only one who waved at me and told me to feel better soon.
CHAPTER 9
The letter
Karma
There was a dull ache in my head from where the ball had hit me. Luckily Julie was waiting in her car outside the gym to pick me up since all the school buses had left and Emma didn’t have her own car.
I handed her the papers from Marley. “I might have a concussion.”
Julie looked down at the papers with a frown. “What happened?”
“Amy threw a ball at my head.”
“Not on purpose, I hope.” The way Julie searched my eyes made me think that she wouldn’t be surprised, and that told me she was well aware that some of the girls were mean.
I shrugged and looked ahead. “I’m tired.” It was the truth. My sisters had said that Emma hadn’t slept last night and with the stress of her worries and despair, her body felt exhausted.
“That’s fine. If your head got hit, you need to rest anyway. Dad is heading home and he’s picking up burgers on the way. You’ll have time for a quick shower if you hurry.”
“Okay.” Being alone together, this might’ve been a perfect opportunity to help Julie understand Emma better; but my body and mind felt drained of all energy, and I just wanted to sleep.
When Julie didn’t start the car, I looked over at her.
“Well?” she asked.
“Well, what?” I searched her face for a clue.
“For seventeen years, I haven’t driven anywhere until you were buckled up. Why would I start now?”
“Oh.” I quickly put on the seatbelt and leaned back when we began driving. Modern cars were a marvelous invention and something I’d never experienced in any of my lifetimes. I looked down when the seat warmed my behind. “My seat is warm.”
“Do you want me to turn it down?”
“No.”
I tucked my hands under my thighs enjoying the comfort of the warmth and felt myself relaxing to the classical music flowing from the speakers in the car. “This is a nice car,” I said in fascination, but that only made Julie place her hand on my forehead and laugh.
“How hard did the ball hit you?”
After taking a shower, I ate dinner with Emma’s family. My head was hurting from the argument between William and Matthew over why William couldn’t have a car.
“I’m a senior. Do you know how lame it makes me look that I don’t have my own car?”
“You did have your own car until you forgot to fill the oil on it and burnt up your engine. I paid for one car but I’m not paying for a second.”
“How am I supposed to come up with the money for a car by myself?” William exclaimed in frustration.
“That’s not my problem and if I were you, I’d worry less about a car and more about picking the right college. You’re halfway through the school year and you still haven’t decided.”
I didn’t have much energy left so I stayed out of the conversation and dragged myself to Emma’s room as soon as dinner was over. I could barely keep my eyes open when I entered Emma’s room with a yawn, heading straight for the bed.
Emma’s body was worn out, but my mind was still spinning and with my head on her pillow, I remembered what was hidden underneath. My hand searched out the folded piece of paper and pulled it out.
In hopes that I could figure out what Emma struggled with most, I opened the suicide letter and read the words that had been meant for her family.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I’m so sorry.
I know checking out is a bad thing to do, but I no longer have the strength to face another day.
Maybe I could’ve handled it if it was just one bad thing in my life. But so much has happened, and so quickly.
Since Grammy died, I’ve felt so lonely. People at school talk, but they never listen, so I’ve stopped saying anything at all. Most of the time I feel invisible.
I’ve worked so hard to become a starting varsity player, but what is it worth when no one on my team likes me? Last week, they all had a New Year’s party, and I was the only one who wasn’t invited. They didn’t even try to spare my feelings by blocking me from their stories. Instead, I watched them having fun all over social media while I sat alone at home.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me or why I don’t fit in, but I truly think your life will be easier without me. I know you worry, and that William is embarrassed by me. He tells me all the time.
Please tell him, I’m not mad at him. I understand the pressure to fit in. I feel it too, but unlike William, I just don’t know how to make people like me.
Yesterday, I overheard Maddie say she’s dating Ty. He’s never noticed me before, but I’d always hoped that one day he would see me like I see him and now it’s too late because Maddie will definitely talk trash about me, which won’t be difficult when I constantly make a fool of myself just by breathing. William can show you the videos of me falling in the trash container if you doubt my words.
I’m going to join Grammy and be happy again.
I hope in time, you’ll forgive me for leaving you. At least now you won’t have to worry about my college tuition or all the fees for basketball clubs.
Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.
I’ll always love you,
Emma
The letter was hard to read because the teardrops had smeared many of the words.
My heart bled for Emma but nothing in this letter was news to me. I’d experienced the rawness of her emotions when I came into her body this morning.
It was only 7:32 pm but I was too exhausted. Stuffing the letter back under the pillow, I closed my eyes and quickly went to sleep.
When I woke up the next morning, it was to the sound of Julie talking to me. “Hey, honey, how are you feeling? How’s your head?”
“Fine.” I rubbed my eyes. “What time is it?”
“Around nine.” She sat down by my side and brushed her hand against my cheek. “You’ve been sleeping like a log, but I thought maybe we should get some food in you. How about I make us some pancakes?”
