“You know that picture on my wall of us as kids? We have our arms around each other and look so happy. What changed?” I spoke slowly to let each word sink in.

  “Don’t do that.” He looked up from his bowl, rolling his eyes. “You were an asshole back then too. You used to tell on me all the time.”

  “Will.” I leaned forward waiting for his attention. “We both have built up resentment towards each other, and I think it’s time we get it all out on the table and talk about it.”

  He blinked. “What is this, fucking therapy?”

  “Wouldn’t you like for us to be friendly at least?”

  With a scowl at me, he spooned up more Lucky Charms and spoke with his mouth full.

  “What was that?” I asked when I didn’t understand a thing.

  After swallowing, he repeated, “Why are you being so weird?”

  “You’re my only brother and we’re almost the same age. These past years have been one long battle between us and I’m tired of it. Aren’t you?”

  William kept his head turned to the bowl of cereal and produced another sound that translated in my head to whatever.

  “Some of the things you’ve said have left deep scars on... em... ehh... me.”

  William arched a brow as his mocking eyes clashed with mine. “So? What about all the shit you’ve said to me? You make it sound like I’m this awful brother, but you’ve been a complete ass. You teased me about my height and when I didn’t make the baseball team you laughed in my face.”

  “Did I?” I searched for a memory of Emma laughing at her brother’s not making the team, but I found nothing.

  “You’ve always been so full of yourself. Just because you’re good at basketball and made varsity as a freshman doesn’t mean you’re the shit. It’s girls’ basketball, no one cares. It’s not like you can go pro and make millions.”

  I didn’t take his bait but tried to understand what triggered him so much about Emma’s talent. “Was that your dream? To be a pro athlete and make millions?”

  “Nooo...” His voice was trembling and from the way his right hand was locked in a fist around his spoon, I could tell William was battling emotions.

  “I don’t remember laughing when you didn’t make the team, but if I did, I’m sorry.”

  “You’re just saying that.”

  “No, I want to fix what’s broken between us. Don’t you want that too?”

  With a hard expression in his eyes, Will raised his wet spoon to point it at me. “Why would I? Just because you’re my sister doesn’t mean that I have to like you. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re not exactly popular.”

  It was clear that he was trying to pick a fight and that he carried a lot of built-up anger. His cruel words would no doubt have hurt Emma, but I was in control and determined to get to the bottom of this. Seizing the opportunity to get William’s perspective on the situation, I said, “You’re right. I’m not very popular. Why do you think that is?”

  It seemed to throw him off that I didn’t cry or attack him back. Blinking his eyes a few times, he scrunched up his face. “Seriously?”

  “Yes. I’m not a bad person. I’m kind and funny. I teach basketball and don’t bully others. So why would my teammates exclude me the way they do? You’re close with Caroline so maybe you know what their problem is.”

  Leaning back in his seat, William crossed his arms and stared at me. “Yeah, I know.”

  “Is it because of the rumor that I’m gay?”

  He curled his lip up. “No of course not, no one cares about that stuff. Richard changed gender last spring and he’s still popular.”

  “Then what is it about me that they don’t like?”

  “You judge people.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It’s like you feel better than everyone else. You cut people if they lie or gossip, and that time in seventh grade when Christy stole an eyeliner in Bartell’s you cut her too. You’re behaving like you’re this perfect human who never screws up and when people don’t live up to your expectations you just cut them from your life.”

  “Are you blaming me for not wanting to be friends with liars and thieves? Isn’t it good that I set boundaries and have standards for the people I call friends?”

  He groaned again. “Sure, if you want to be alone. We were kids and now we’re teenagers... it’s inevitable that we screw up all the time. We blow other people’s secrets without wanting to, we act on impulse, we’re insecure and succumb to peer pressure, but you’re making it all worse by being the one to judge. It’s fucking annoying.”

  “When was the last time you felt judged by me?”

  “Are you really gonna ask that question?” He shook his head and lifted the bowl to drink the rest of the milk, which had turned pink and sugary from the Lucky Charms.

  “When?” I repeated.

  “Last week when you caught me sneaking out at night. You knew I was going to Caroline’s house, and you told me I was making a mistake, remember? You gave me that whole spiel about how I would lose Mom and Dad’s trust if they found out. Just because no one wants to date you doesn’t mean the rest of us need to live in celibacy.”

  “Telling me that no one wants to date me is hurtful. I’m trying to have a conversation and seeking your advice but all you do is put me down.”

  I thought I saw his face soften a bit before he exclaimed, “All I’m saying is that sometimes you act like you’re sixty and not sixteen.”

  “I’m seventeen.”

  He didn’t react to my correction of him, so I continued while leaning forward and placing my forearms on the table. “Alright, I hear what you’re saying. But what if I’m happier with two or three close friends instead of twenty who don’t really care about me? How many close friends do you have?”

  “A ton.” His answer came too fast and the frown that followed told me it wasn’t true.

  I kept my eyes on him. “Who?”

  “I’ve got Elton, Mikey, Nick, Jaxon, and LK for a start.”

  “How often do you talk to them? I mean, really talk and not just send photos back and forth?”

  “You mean snaps?”

  “Mhmm.”

  “We talk. Maybe not like girls, but I could talk to them if I wanted to, not that I do... that would be weird, but you know.” He shrugged.

  “So, we’re not so different then. You don’t have close friends to talk about your feelings with either.”

  “I have Caroline; we talk. And at least I’m not sitting by myself at lunch.”

  “Ahh, so you saw me the other day?”

  “I’m not blind.”

  “No, you’re just embarrassed. You already told me.”

  “Are we done?” William got up and carried his bowl and spoon to the sink.

  “Just one last thing.” I stood up too. “I’m going to the Y a little later to play pickup games. Do you wanna come?”

  William’s head whipped around. “What did you say?”

  “Ebony and I are going, and it would be fun if you came too.”

  He looked like I’d asked him if he wanted to go steal a car with me. “Did you watch Doctor Phil or some shit? You’re so weird today.”

  I smiled. “Because I’m asking you to hang out with me?”

  As he passed me, William tousled my hair hard, and it made me wince and reach up to protect my head. “Stop it.”

  “I think an alien took over my sister’s body and made her nice for a change. It’s freaking me out.” There was a hint of a smile on his lips.

  “We’re going at ten to two,” I called after him when he walked up the stairs taking two steps at a time.

  “I’m gonna pass. I’ve got homework to do,” he said before closing his door.

  I stood back with one clear thought. At least he hadn’t slammed his door.

  CHAPTER 14

  YMCA

  Karma

  Aware that my time to improve Emma’s life was running out, I wanted to get the most out of this Sunday. Ebony had already agreed to go to the gym with me, but I knew it would be a bonus if I could deepen Emma’s friendship with Ty as well. Sitting on Emma’s bed I found his number in her phone and was about to call him when I felt Emma’s soul stir in the back. Wow, the increase in my breathing and the sudden burst of sweat from under my armpits told me how nervous Ty made her.

  “Honey, he’s just a boy,” I said to calm her, but it was clear that calling him would have been too big a step for Emma. I went with a text instead.

  Me: Hey! What are your plans for today?

  It took about five minute and then I had an answer.

  Ty: Watching some football and doing homework. Pretty low-key. You?

  Me: My friend and I are going to the Y at 2. We’re gonna play some pickup, and you’re welcome to join. I figured, if you wanna help me with the fourth graders, you should try out for the assistant coach role first. ;)

  Ty responded with laughing emojis.

  Ty: Hell yeah! I need to finish watching this game, but then I’ll come by and show off my mad skills.

  When I was getting ready to go to the gym, Emma stirred again. There was a physical pull in me toward a drawer in her bathroom and when I opened it, I saw makeup. She didn’t have a lot, but there was foundation, mascara, and three different shades of lip gloss. I frowned and lifted my eyes to the mirror. Why would she want to put on makeup to go to the gym?

  The nervous feeling returned.

  “Ahh, you want to look pretty in front of Ty!” I muttered the words and smiled to Emma’s reflection. “Well, here’s the thing sweetheart. He’s not coming to admire your makeup. He’s coming because he enjoys your company. I can tell you from experience that the best relationships are built on a solid friendship, and you can’t have that if you can’t be naked with each other.”

  A spike in my heart rate told me Emma had misunderstood my words. “I mean in the sense that you’re honest and vulnerable rather than putting up a façade. In a few days you’ll be back in control and then you can apply all the lip gloss you want, but today you’re flashing your natural beauty.”

  I took Emma’s bike to the gym and arrived with red cheeks and a big smile. Biking was fun! My favorite part was going downhill with the wind blowing in my face. The large clock on the wall in the entry area of the gym showed that it was a few minutes after two when I entered the basketball gym. Ebony was sitting up against a wall putting on her shoes.

  “Hey.” I jogged toward her.

  Her head popped up and a smile made her eyes light up. “Hey, Emma.”

  Taking a seat next to her I pulled a pair of shoes from my bag. “How was church?”

  “The funniest thing happened today.” Ebony closed her eyes for a second as she shook her head with a chuckle. “We have a few different pastors at my church. And Pastor Smith, who isn’t very nice, was talking to the youth today, but he had no idea that he was walking around with a long piece of toilet paper under his shoe, and no one wanted to tell him, until six-year-old Henry yelled it out in front of everyone.”

  I joined in on Ebony’s laughter and for a few minutes, we continued to chitchat with her giggling a few times before we stood up and went to shoot on a free hoop.

  “Hey, let’s ask if we can play.” I nudged Ebony’s shoulder and turned my head toward eight young men who were playing a game on the adjacent court.

  A flash of shyness and anxiety spread on Ebony’s face. “Alright, but you have to ask.”

  Inside me Emma was freaking out too, but these girls needed to learn that the fear of rejection was natural and shouldn’t stop them. Putting on a smile, I walked toward the group of guys and called out a friendly “hey.” A tall skinny boy had just scored and when he turned his head to me, their game stopped for a moment.

  I stood tall and spoke with confidence. “Can we join you?”

  Another young man with a long nose was holding the ball and turned to look me up and down. “Ehm, we already have enough players.”

  I didn’t give up. “We can go full court with five on five.”

  The tall boy looked to his friends, but when none of them protested, he shrugged. “Fine.”

  But apparently it wasn’t fine with the long-nosed guy because he held the ball protectively and knitted his brows together. “But we already have a game going.”

  I squinted my eyes, not sure what his problem was. “How about we shoot for it?”

  He wasn’t much taller than me but lowered his head like he was looking down upon me. I lifted my chin with a raised eyebrow and met him head on.

  The tall boy noticed his friends’ tension and tried to lighten the mood with a small laugh. “It’s fine, Cody, the score is only two to three. We can just start over.”

  “Nah,” Cody said dismissively. “I don’t want to go easy because I’m playing against a girl. If she wants to play, she’s gotta earn her spot. Shoot it from there.” He threw the ball he’d been holding at me; confident he’d just set me up for failure. I was standing halfway between the three-point line and the half court. It wasn’t an easy shot, but during practice I had managed to hit the hoop from this distance. Closing my eyes for a second, I channeled my energy and visualized the ball going in. I can do it, and I’ll do it, I repeated in my head. Opening my eyes and exhaling, I shot my shot. It was hard not to scream with joy when the ball flew right through the middle of the net in a perfect swish. Scanning the gym, I searched to see if Miracle or Gaia had helped out, but they were nowhere to be seen, so I concluded that Emma was truly a gifted baller.

  The other boys made whistling sounds while Cody didn’t look pleased or impressed.

  I waved Ebony over, who’d been watching from a distance and when she came close, she elbowed me discreetly and leaned in to whisper. “That shot was sick.”

  The score was quickly ten to seven. Cody was on our team, which got annoying quickly because he didn’t seem to understand that basketball was a team sport where you share the ball. Still, Ebony and I had fun and managed to work together by setting each other up to score.

  I had just set a screen for Ebony, who drove to the basket, when the tall boy made a wall in front of her. Like we’d practiced a thousand times at school, she passed the ball back out to me setting me up for an open shot. Ebony was the only one who clapped as I scored my second three-pointer.

  “You’re on fire, girl.” She grinned and we shared a high five as she passed me.

  Turning to get back on defense I noticed Ty had entered the gym and was putting on his shoes with a smile on his handsome face.

  “Nice shot,” he mouthed quietly.

  Feeling Emma bursting with glee in the back, I beamed in a bright smile.

  When our game ended a few minutes later, Ebony walked toward me.

  “Do you know Ty?” I asked her.

  With a sideways glance in his direction, she said, “Everyone knows of him, but I don’t know him personally; we’ve only talked once before.”

  “Come on.” I led her toward him. “I’ll introduce you. He’s a really nice guy.”

  “You know him?”

  “Yeah, I invited him to come.” When we got to the wall, Ty rose to his full height.

  “Hey.” I gave him a light shove on the shoulder. “What a surprise to see you here.”

  Ty smiled down at me and laughed.

  “Ebony, this is Ty, Ty, this is Ebony.”

  Ebony suddenly got very shy and had a hard time making eye contact, which Ty seemed to notice.

  “Yeah! I know Ebony! We’re practically besties, right?”

  His joke made Ebony lighten up a bit and she laughed. “Yeah, totally.”

  Ty earned a lot of points in my book at that moment.

  “Are you guys up for a game?” I asked.

  They both nodded in response, so I jogged toward the young men we’d been playing with before.

  “Up for another game?” I asked the tall boy.

  He didn’t get a chance to answer before one of the others said, “Can’t. We’re heading out.”

  The tall boy looked at two of his friends who hadn’t taken off their shoes yet. “What do you say? I’d be down for a game.”

  “Great! We can go three on three,” I exclaimed.

  Ebony, Ty, and I were on a team against the tall boy, his annoying friend Cody, and a younger boy who didn’t say much.

  Ty surprised me with his skills. Basketball might not be his main sport, but he was good, and I could tell he was a natural athlete from the way he moved his body.

  For some reason, Cody had decided to defend me. From the way he acted, he made it clear that he didn’t like me one bit. I didn’t have to be able to read his mind to know he was determined to humiliate me, so when I scored on him for the fourth time, he got aggressive.

  I was defending Cody when he drove to the hoop with a fierce expression on his face. Using my body to block, I got pushed to the ground when he played dirty and stabbed his elbow into my ribcage.

  “What the hell, dude!” Ty ran over to help me up.

  “What?” Cody rolled his eyes, showing signs of serious anger issues.

  Ty took a step closer to him and being a head taller he looked down on Cody with a pissed-off attitude. “You don’t get to play defense on her when you’re such an ass. Show some respect, dude.” He looked over his shoulder to me. “Switch with me.”

  I did as he said and went toward the tall boy, who looked conflicted and whispered,

  “Cody isn’t a bad guy. I think it’s because you look like his ex-girlfriend.”

  “That’s no excuse.”

  He didn’t answer but just continued to play the game. There was a clear power struggle going on between Ty and Cody, who were shoving at each other and playing rough.

  Cody went for a shot but as soon as the ball left his hand, Ty smacked it away, swatting him so loudly that everyone in the gym could hear the sound of palm smacking against leather. I couldn’t help but grin when Ty winked at me.

  It was a relief when the game ended and the boys walked out of the gym, leaving Ebony, Ty, and me to play around.

  The hours passed as the three of us laughed and played games.

 

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