Cultivated box set, p.34
Cultivated Box Set, page 34
part #1 of Cultivated Series
“Can I have my hand back now?”
“Yes. Yes. Of course.” I was flustered but managed to go back to my chair. “You don’t know how big this is to me.”
“I’m starting to get a sense of it.” His tone was dry. “It’s just football, you know.”
I plunked down on my chair. “Nooo, it’s the pretzels, the hotdogs, the singing, the booing, the cheerleaders, the audience, the half-time show, and the fierce battle on the field. Football is life, and the Super Bowl is the highlight of the entire year.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.” I held up both hands showing him my crossed fingers. “Say, yes, please.”
“I doubt they’ll have hotdogs and pretzels in the lounge. It’ll be fancier than that.”
“That’s okay. We can sneak out, and I’ll show you what the real deal is about.”
“The real deal being a greasy hot dog?”
I nodded and bared my teeth in a wide smile. “My treat.”
Atlas took a moment watching me with amusement before he gave a slow nod. “All right. I’ll go.”
Leaning my head back, I raised my arms in the air and howled with joy. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”
He chuckled while shaking his head at me. “Your joy is as pure as my five-year-old sister’s.”
I didn’t care that he compared me to a child. I was beaming from ear to ear in a broad grin. A life-long dream of being at a Super Bowl was only four days away.
CHAPTER 5
The Sins of Our Father
Atlas
The light from the fridge lit up my dark kitchen. It was 2:30 a.m., and I was hungry, but nothing in there appealed to me.
The options were limited — some left-over pizza, salami, cheese, grapes, yogurt, pickles, and protein powder.
With a sigh, I grabbed the milk and went for a bowl of Golden Puffs.
My sister River was right. My eating habits were horrible. For the last year, it had been on my to-do list to change it - just not tonight.
I should be sleeping, but as on so many nights before, heavy thoughts kept me up.
Chewing on a spoonful of Golden Puffs, I blamed myself for not being strong enough. I should be able to control my thoughts and not let them define me, but every time I weakened my defense, dark thoughts overwhelmed me. Tonight, I’d felt restless and figured I could calm myself with a quick wank. But the moment I closed my eyes and touched myself, disturbing images arose in my mind. My father had used and abused women. I hated that about him. So why was it that mental pictures of pinning down a woman and dominating her aroused me?
What was extra disturbing was that I hadn’t just fantasized about any woman. It had been a woman that I knew, and it made me hate my fantasy of dominating her even more.
How the hell was I supposed to bring Jolene to a football game and spend time with her when I felt like I owed her a massive apology for things I’d done to her in my fantasy?
To distract myself from my shame and self-blame, I picked up my phone and scrolled through my contacts on social media. My account was low on information and pictures, but my younger siblings kept the world updated on their lives. Nathan had uploaded gorgeous images of nature. He was running an ultra race in Iceland this week. I wrote a quick comment telling him that he was missing the point and that he should take time to enjoy the beautiful nature instead of rushing through it.
My sister River was clubbing with friends and had selfies of her and a handful of picture-perfect friends posing for the camera. Her life on social media looked glamorous, but I knew better. She was clubbing to get drunk and forget about her last relationship, which had ended a few days ago. Another wealthy businessman or celebrity that ended up disappointing her. River lived in London and had made it into a circle of posh people whom I had little in common with and who thought me boring. Not that it stopped her girlfriends from fishing for my attention. I had money after all, and that seemed to be the only criterion that counted in their books.
Emptying the bowl of Golden Puffs, I thought about how bizarre it was that River was so conscious about what she put in her body foodwise when she seemed drawn to toxic people and relationships. At least I was selective about people.
Maximum, my only biological sibling, was somewhere in Asia volunteering at an orphanage. I could see he was online and called him up on FaceTime.
A live feed came up with the top of my brother’s head and a stained ceiling. “Trouble sleeping again?”
“Yes. Hey, let me see your face. I can only see your hair.”
“Better now?” My brother’s face came into view. We looked similar with light brown hair and brown eyes, but unlike me, he didn’t wear glasses. “Why are you sitting in darkness? I can’t see you.”
“Oh, hang on.” I moved over to turn on the light behind me.
“What time is it at your place?” Maximum asked and looked at his watch. “Around four in the morning?”
“Uh-huh. Are you off from work?”
“Yes. I just came back to the hotel ten minutes ago.”
“Show me.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because you won’t approve.”
“I already know you are in a cheap dump. The ceiling was all spotted and dirty.”
“So? I don’t need to live in luxury.”
I sighed.
“Don’t!” Maximum warned.
“I’m keeping my mouth shut this time. I didn’t call to argue with you.”
“Good. So how are you?”
“Fine.”
“Fine and insomnia don’t go well together.”
“It’s nothing.”
Maximum waited for me to continue. He knew me too well, but I couldn’t tell him about my depraved thoughts.
“I’m going to the Super Bowl this Sunday.”
“I thought you didn’t like American Football.”
“It’s not that I don’t like it. I’ve just never taken the time to understand it.”
“Why would you when rugby is superior?” He winked, and I rewarded him with a smile of agreement.
“So, are you excited?” he asked.
“About what?”
“About going to the Super Bowl.”
“Oh, sure. Except for the masses of people, security, and the noise.”
Maximum chuckled. “The problems of my sensitive brother.”
I groaned.
“Come on. It’s not like you’ll be rubbing shoulders with the hardcore fans. If I’m right, you’ll be in some fancy skybox with great seats, champagne, and delicious food.”
“Charles gave me his tickets.”
“Good for you.”
“You disapprove. I can hear it in your voice.”
Maximum leaned his head back for a moment before looking back at me. “If you could see the poverty here, you’d find it mind-blowing too. Consider the amount of money that goes into a massive sports event like that. It’s easily a hundred million dollars. Imagine what good you could do with that money in places like this. People are dying from disease and poverty around the world, so yes, I think the money could be used in a better way.”
“You don’t see the whole picture. Children are fed because of the Super Bowl. Those hundred million dollars that you talk about provide jobs that help families pay their bills. The amount of people employed to pull something like that off is substantial.”
Maximum shrugged and didn’t reply.
“Are you flying back home for Saffron’s birthday?”
“Yes. Friday will be my last day here.”
“It’s been a month. You’re a good man, Maximum.” My tone was sincere.
“I’m just trying to outweigh a bit of our family karma.”
“We’re not responsible for our father’s sins.”
“No. We’re not. But we’re paying the price nontheless.”
“Is that why you love to hide in the Philippines where no one knows you?”
He sighed. “I wish. Even here people have internet, and I always worry that people will Google me. We can’t hide our past or outrun it. It’s a constant companion somehow.”
“Funny that you should say that. Today at work, my new researcher, Jolene, told me she’d Googled me, but all she talked about finding were innocent stuff like my job at Solver and women I’ve been dating.”
“And you hired her as a researcher?” Maximum scoffed. “Sounds like she didn’t dig very deep.”
“She’s a psychologist at C.M. Research, and her job is to interview people and run experiments, not to search online.
“Is she old?”
“No. She’s twenty-eight. Why?”
“Nothing, I just figured old people are less internet-savvy, that’s all.”
Maximum was three years and four months younger than me, which made him twenty-four.
“I don’t think her age is the problem. She comes across younger than she is; maybe because she doesn’t have children yet. Anyway, I invited her to the Super Bowl since she’s a massive football fan.”
“Hmmm.” Maximum widened his eyes a little. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing.”
He leaned closer to the camera, and it made his head bigger on the screen. “I’m picking up a weird energy here. Is something going on between you and her?”
“Geez, not you too. Lumi already poked at me. Why is everyone so weird about it? I have hundreds of employees? What’s so special about this woman?”
“I didn’t say there was something special about her. You brought that up. But if you’re inviting her to the Super Bowl, then there must be something about her.”
“No. I tried to give her two tickets, and she was the one who insisted that I come with her.”
“Maybe she has a crush on you.”
Taking off my glasses, I rubbed the spot between my eyebrows. “I doubt that. The tickets were just my way of being nice to someone new in town. It doesn’t mean I fancy her.”
Not unless you count filthy dreams about dominating her in bed.
I shook my head, annoyed about the reminder of my earlier shame, but at least no one would ever know about it. “Maybe I should get some sleep. I have a long day tomorrow.”
“You do that, and thanks for calling. I’ll see you next week in Ireland, right?”
“Yes. Oh, one quick thing; what are you getting Saffron for her birthday?”
“I bought her a doll a few days ago. Survivors of sex trafficking here in the Philippines make homemade toys to fund their school.”
“You’re a fucking saint, do you know that?”
Maximum laughed. “Not even close, brother. Not even close.”
“All right. Talk to you later.”
“Sweet dreams.”
The call ended, and my screen went dark again. Giving it another shot, I went back to bed and tried to sleep.
An image from my fantasy earlier made me wrinkle my nose and turn on my other side, but there she was again, Jolene, naked and with her ass red from my hands spanking her.
Stop it!
I rolled on to my stomach, thinking about what work-out I would do tomorrow morning. Maybe I should do the rowing machine instead of running, or both.
Oh, Atlas, oh… I squeezed my eyes closed. Why did she have to tell me she was a screamer? My eyelids couldn’t shield me from the visions in my mind of Jolene tied up and helpless, her mascara running, her lips puffy, and my hand in a firm hold around her jaw, forcing her to look up at me. Open your mouth. I want to hear you fucking beg for my cock.
Sitting up and opening my eyes, I grunted and hammered my fist down on my mattress. “I’m not him. I’m not him!”
CHAPTER 6
Digging
Jolene
I turned down the volume on the TV when my phone rang.
“Jimmy. How are you?”
“I’m good, and I have some tea to spill.”
“Yeah?”
“So, I got your email, and I asked Henry about Atlas Robertson, and it turns out that he did go to Harvard when he was only sixteen. Henry says that he can’t discuss students, but I told him that we can’t have you working for a shady guy and that if he knew anything, we’d have to warn you.”
“And? Did he tell you anything?”
“Yeess!!” Jimmy lisped on the word and lowered his voice. “Atlas Robertson wasn’t popular among the professors. He was eccentric and unwilling to fit into the standardized system.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, according to Henry, Atlas wasn’t interested in a degree. Rumor is that he wrote a brilliant dissertation comparing the systemic rise of dictators throughout history, but refused to publish it.
“Wait a minute. He did get his degree, didn’t he?”
“I don’t think so. He studied hard, but as far as Henry knows, he never graduated.”
“But he’s the Director of Research and Development at Solver Industries. Surely, they wouldn’t have hired him without a degree.” Before Jimmy had a chance to comment, I added. “But then again, he is the son of the chairman, so maybe it’s a case of nepotism.”
“Auch, that’s a bit harsh, Jo.” Jimmy chuckled low, “Atlas Robertson might be eccentric and without a degree, but Henry made it sound like the man is somewhat of a genius.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Solver Industries is probably lucky to have him.”
“What’s he like in real life?” Jimmy asked in a conspiratorial tone of voice.
“Hmm.” I thought about it. “He’s analytical and likes to be presented with facts. You can tell that he likes to be in control, and he has this aura of… hmm...” I searched for the right word.
“Superiority?” Jimmy suggested.
“No.”
“Weird? Is he like one of those intellectuals who go around using words that no one understands?”
“No, he’s nothing like that. I think the word I’m looking for is class. He has an aura of class about him. He’s eloquent and cultivated. Of course, it helps that he speaks with a slight British accent; I always found that appealing.”
“Jolene Margareth Fisher, am I sensing an infatuation on your part?” The way Jimmy used my full name and spoke in a sing-song voice, had me smiling. He’d been my mother’s friend from college, and my favorite among all the adults visiting our house.
“No infatuation here. I’m just trying to get more back story on my boss. With my history, I’m more careful about the people I let into my life, you know?”
“Yes, I understand, ma chérie. You’ve been through enough already.”
“I wish I knew why Atlas is obsessed with tyrants and psychopaths. The more I think about it, the more I worry that I’m helping him gain information that he can use for evil.”
“Hmm, yes. I see what you mean. It is a strange thing to study, but people have always been fascinated with the ugly side of humanity. Why else do you think Steven King sells millions of books?”
“There’s a difference between seeking out scary entertainment and starting a research company to get answers, wouldn’t you say?”
“Perhaps.” He sighed. “But either way, I have to go now, ma chérie. Dancing with the Stars is about to start.”
“All right, say hi to Henry from me, and thank you for calling.”
“My pleasure. Bye-bye now.”
“Bye.”
I turned the volume on my TV back up while using my phone to search for more information. At first, I'd scanned through the same LinkedIn profile that I’d seen the first time I looked up Atlas. It was factual, telling me he was the Director of Research and Development at Solver Industries and the owner of Curious Minds Research Center. He was well connected within the business world and had a ton of recommendations on his profile.
The cooking show soon faded in the background when I moved on to search through Google Images. Photos of Atlas in sharp suits and tuxedos with different women on his arm came up. In some pictures, they were wearing casual outfits, and in others, the women wore gala dresses for various charity events. I scrolled down over the photos and stopped when I finally found one where Atlas was smiling. He stood with his arm around a man, and based on their striking resemblance, I guessed him to be his brother. They were in tuxedos and laughing about something. I tilted my head, finding the carefree version of Atlas appealing.
Scrolling on, I recognized two of the women from previous pictures, and then on page four of Google images, a photo surprised me. The two women were in the same shot talking with each other.
I had assumed they were his dates in the other photos, but it was clear that they knew each other. I clicked a link under the picture of the blonde and the dark-haired woman talking. It took me to an article from a British newspaper.
River Robertson admits to heartbreak.
This week, River Robertson was attending the opening of the new art exhibition at the National Gallery in London. Stylish as always, she was wearing a sapphire blue dress emphasizing her feminine curves from Genny Hill’s latest collection with a pair of daring yellow heels that matched her belt and purse. When asked about her recent and very public break-up from film star, Storm Johnson, she admitted it was a difficult time for her, but that she wished him luck with Serena, his co-star on his upcoming movie, Beyond Tomorrow. River did not want to comment on the paparazzi photos of Storm and Serena holding hands and kissing, which emerged last week and are rumored to be what led to River ending her seven months’ relationship with Storm. She was attending the opening with her sister Lumi Robertson, CFO of Solver Industries, who showed that there’s more than brains to her. Lumi looked elegant and beautiful in her tight black dress from Rose Petals and Bloom.
Ah, so the two women were Atlas’ sisters. It hadn’t occurred to me since they were opposites in looks. River was blond with blue or green eyes, while Lumi was dark, as if she had Middle Eastern or Indian heritage.
I did another search on the Robertson family and frowned when I found Charles Robertson’s Wikipedia profile. He was only forty years old but the adoptive father of Lumi, Atlas, Nathan, River, and Maximum Robertson.
