Bones, p.19
Bones, page 19
My eyes burned and I blinked, trying to get ahold of myself, but the words spilled out. “You should hate me.”
“Would you believe me if I said I tried?” That crooked smile ghosted across his lips.
“Trey—”
“Let me help you,” he interrupted. “You wanna be with Zip? That’s fine. Be with Zip. But please, Bones. Please stop pushin’ me away. I’m never gonna try to make you stop caring, ok? It’s one of the most beautiful things about you.” He smiled. “Even though you try so damn hard to act like you don’t care at all.”
He let go of my hands and stepped back, leaving me chilled. I tried to think of something to say, but my brain had dropped clean out of my head.
“I’ll talk to Mac about the kids, ok? See if we can work out a way to get some extra food.”
“No,” I said sharply and he frowned, but I continued before he could protest, “Let me talk to Madame. I’m sure I can work out a deal.”
He studied me for a moment but nodded. "Alright. I'll let you handle it. Anything else?"
“I want to let ’em sleep in the loft,” I blurted out. “There’s plenty of room, and they’re so small, and it’s gettin’ so cold. I can—”
“Ok.”
I fell silent, staring at him.
“Ok,” he repeated. “I think that’s a great idea.”
“Ok,” I echoed. I hoped I didn’t look as off-balance as I felt.
“Have you been eating anything for dinner?”
I winced. “My broth.”
He shook his head at me, but he smiled. “You dumbass.”
I tried to glare at him, but I wasn’t sure I managed it.
“Can we be friends?” he asked, holding out his hand like he wanted to shake.
I hesitated, but before I could find the strength to resist, I put my hand in his again. His warm fingers curled around mine and gave it a firm shake.
“Friends,” I whispered and his face transformed into that sunshine smile.
Gods, I wasn’t sure I could hate Mac for dragging me here now that I knew why. I remembered the tension between Mac and Trey on our journey back to the Vault. I remembered Trey saying if they’d known Juck’s secret weapon was a person, they wouldn’t have taken the job. I doubted Mac would say the same if the alternative was Trey’s death.
I didn’t like the realization that Mac and I were more similar than I thought.
The next morning I went to see Madame. I'd never attempted to see her without being summoned, so I wasn't sure she'd see me, but when I spoke to the guards at the entrance of the watchtower, they beckoned me inside. Madame sat at a desk in her office with a map in front of her. She scanned me as I came in, her eyes as cold as always.
“What is it, Bones?”
“I want to use the orphans as my messengers,” I said, keeping my voice steady and respectful. “That way people can get messages to me or send for me if they need help and I can send messages and medicine to people. It’s not fair of me to keep Mac’s crew tied up. They’ve got better things to do.”
She eyed me for a moment. “You give those kids anything and you’ll never see it again.”
“I thought of that. An’ I thought maybe if I could offer them shelter and food at the clinic, they’d be more willing to work for me.”
Her eyebrows raised. “You want to house and feed the orphans at the clinic?”
“I know your policy is that only working folks can get rations,” I chose my words carefully. “I want to put them to work. I need the help, an’ they need the food and shelter. Everybody wins.”
She leaned forward, steepling her hands together. “Those kids become a vital part of our workforce once they’re big enough.”
I swallowed down the fury rising in my throat. She didn't want to take care of these kids, but she still expected them to work for her once they got older. "This could be a temporary thing. They could work for me until they're old enough to move on."
In the silence, I held my breath. I didn’t have a backup plan, and I had no clue what to do if she said no. Finally, she nodded.
“Alright. I think your plan could work. But you’ll be responsible for them, you hear? They step out of line and it’s on your head.”
“Yes ma’am,” I agreed, relief coursing through me.
“Tell Mac to find some supplies. I’ll tell the canteen you’re allowed to feed them.”
I walked outside and despite the cold wind, I felt warm inside and out.
12
The first night only a dozen of the children showed up to sleep in the loft. Apple was the first through the door, looking positively gleeful. The blankets Griz and Sam had scrounged up were tattered and threadbare but better than nothing. And to see the kids’ reactions, you’d think I handed them the world.
Hearing the kids sleeping above where I lay on my mattress comforted me. Their little whispers and sleep mumbles meant they were safe and warm. Trey came in, kicking snow off his boots, and I sat up. In the dim glow of the wood stove, he noticed me and smiled. I crawled out from under my blanket, shivering, and crossed the room toward him.
“How many kids showed up?” he whispered, glancing up at the loft.
“Only about a dozen,” I whispered back, frowning.
“More will come,” he assured me, “once word spreads.”
“I hope so,” I murmured.
He shrugged out of his jacket, hanging it on the hook by the door, and bent to shake the snow out of his wet hair, turning his waves into loose curls. "It's still coming down out there."
“Trey?”
He glanced up at me through his damp curls, and my breath caught for a moment at how the firelight reflected in his eyes and played across the planes of his face. He was strikingly handsome. I tried to ignore my feelings for him wrapping roots around my heart.
“Thank you,” I whispered, my voice hoarse with emotion.
His smile was so sweet and soft. “You’re welcome, Bones.”
More kids did come, slowly, then as the weather got colder, all at once. Somehow we managed to get every kid who showed up a bed, and they didn't seem to mind that they were squished into the loft, sleeping on top of each other. Once people noticed the kids sleeping at the clinic, many of them started bringing extra food and clothing. Their generosity startled me. I thought no one else cared, but the people proved me wrong.
Leda and baby Jet came by almost every day. Leda had an eye for organizing and soon the loft upstairs had a semblance of being a bedroom. She even got Griz, Sam, and Trey to build some makeshift bunkbeds.
"I've wanted to do something about these kids for a long time now," Leda told me one day, Jet perched on her hip chewing on a wooden teething ring. "I wish we had a school, but Madame won't approve a building for one."
A school was a good idea. I’d learned how to read at the small schoolhouse in our hold, and I would’ve been fucked if I hadn’t. I wasn’t surprised Madame didn’t think it was necessary though. So long as she had bodies for labor, she didn’t seem to give a shit about the rest.
“Bones?”
I snapped out of my thoughts with a jolt. Leda stared at me, one eyebrow raised.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” I asked, my face heating.
“I was just sayin’ that Trey seems to be taken with you.” She gave me a sly grin, her teeth flashing white against her dark skin.
I kept my face blank. “He’s working.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Oh is that all?”
I shrugged, trying to push away the memory of Trey’s arms around me as I fiddled with things on the counter. “I’m with Zip.”
“Yeah, I heard about that.”
I wasn’t brave enough to look at her, but I could hear the disapproval in her voice.
“All I’m sayin’ is I’ve known Trey since he was in diapers, and I’ve never seen him so focused on someone before.”
When I glanced up to glare at her, she just grinned.
“It’s just his job,” I said, my voice a little sharper.
Before she could respond, the door opened and Trey strode in, kicking snow from his boots and shaking it from his hair. He smiled at both of us, taking off his jacket before coming over, something in his hand.
“Hey Leda,” he greeted her. “Thanks for all your help getting the beds situated upstairs.”
“Of course.” Leda smiled, then she glanced at his hand. “Whatcha got there?”
Trey’s ears went a little pink. “Oh, I made something for Bones.” He placed one of my small green glass bottles on the table with a single dandelion flower inside.
As I looked closer, I realized the flower was carved out of wood and painted a cheerful yellow with the stem green.
“Can’t get the real ones now, so I figured this could stand in for ’em during the winter.”
My heart felt impossibly tight and too big all at once. I picked up the little wooden carving, trying my hardest to keep my expression even, but I struggled. When I looked up, both Leda and Trey smiled at me.
“Thank you,” I said, trying to pretend my voice didn’t wobble.
“You’re welcome, Bones,” Trey murmured.
I knew if I held his gaze I would cry, so I turned and walked over to the mirror, setting the little dandelion carving on the shelf. It did add a little bit of sunshine. I washed my hands in the sink as an excuse to hide in the corner a little longer, pulling myself back together. When I came back to the table Trey had moved over to his mattress to take his pistol apart and oil it. He glanced up once and smiled warmly at me before focusing on his gun. Leda shifted Jet to her other hip and gave me a smug grin.
“Definitely just his job,” she leaned in to whisper to me.
I rolled my eyes.
She laughed, her dark curls bouncing. “I’m heading home. I’ll see you two later.”
Trey gave her a wave. After the door shut behind her, silence fell but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Trey focused on cleaning his gun. The few kids upstairs whispered to each other. A cheerful fire crackled in the wood stove, bathing the spotless clinic in a warm orange light.
The comforting feeling of home hit me straight in the heart.
You know better, Wolf said, but he sounded a little quieter than normal.
It’d been almost two weeks since Madame last summoned me to the dungeon. I could pretend that wasn’t a part of my life. I could pretend that this was my home, where I wanted to be, that Trey—
I shoved those thoughts back down. I didn't have the luxury of indulging in silly fantasies. Zip would be back soon, and Madame would summon me any day. That was the reality of my life and pretending anything different would just make it hurt worse when it got taken away.
The loggers came back a week later, several teams of large horses hauling giant logs. I didn't see Zip for a few days still, as they continued to work chopping and distributing the wood. When someone burst through the door five days after the loggers got back, I assumed it was Zip. I turned from where I stood by the stove with a pit in my stomach, but it wasn't him. It was the partner of one of the other loggers, his face panicked.
“Silver’s sick,” he blurted out. “Been sick since he got back, but it’s gettin’ worse. Can you come, Doc?”
I nodded, grabbing the med kit I'd put together. Trey waited outside and immediately took the heavy bag from me as we walked through the snow. Silver's partner, Marsh, walked so fast I had to trot to keep up. The temperature barely changed between outside and inside as we entered, the ramshackle walls doing almost nothing to keep the cold out. Inside, their shack reminded me of Zip's, but more furnished. Silver lay on a pile of furs, his normally tan face pale. His breathing sounded more like a gurgle. I made my way to his side and Trey followed so he could set the med kit down next to me.
“Silver?” I asked. “Can you hear me?”
His eyes stayed on the ceiling, unfocused.
“How long has he been like this?” I asked Marsh.
“He wasn’t feelin’ great this morning, but when I came home from workin’ he was like this.”
I took Silver’s vitals with my worn instruments, my stomach churning with dread. A person declining that fast meant a serious illness. I laid my hands on Silver’s sweaty shoulders and let my power flow into him.
It felt…off. I frowned as I continued to channel that warmth into him. Slowly his color came back, and his eyes focused on me, but it took a lot more effort than it should have. I kept going until his breathing sounded normal again. When I let go, my hands shook, and getting to my feet took an unusual amount of effort. I'd just finished packing up my med kit when Apple came running through the door.
“Bones, there’s a bunch of people sick,” she gasped. “Got at least five people asking you to come.”
Fuck.
Dawn broke before I stumbled back to the clinic. This sickness was spreading so fast. The kids had been bringing me messages and summons all day, and I was barely keeping my head above the water. I wanted to keep going, but Trey had threatened to throw me over his shoulder and carry me back if I didn’t take a break to sleep.
“Just a couple hours of sleep, alright?” Trey said, my med kit hefted over his shoulder. “Then you can head back out.”
I nodded, too exhausted to argue.
As we entered the clinic, the sound of labored breathing and rattling coughs reached us, and I darted up the ladder to the loft. A little boy named Cloud met me at the top of the ladder, his eyes huge and scared.
“They were ok at dinner,” he whispered.
I sank beside the closest one, placing my hands on the little boy's thin shoulders as Trey crouched beside me.
“Are you feeling ok, Cloud?” Trey asked.
“Yeah.” Cloud’s voice trembled. “Am I gonna get sick too?”
“If you get sick, I’ll heal you,” I said. “You’re gonna be ok.”
He nodded, but he still looked scared. The sick boy finally took a breath without wheezing and opened his eyes.
“Miss Bones?” he whimpered.
“It’s just Bones,” I murmured. “You’re ok. You got sick, but I’m healing you.”
Cloud followed us to all five of the sick kids, and some of that fear melted away in his eyes as he watched me heal his friends.
“How do you do that?” he whispered at one point.
“I don’t know,” I answered, too tired to come up with anything else. “I just can.”
"I wish I could do that too," he said and had to bite back the urge to tell him that no, he didn't want this.
“Well, you’re a big help taking messages and medicine for me,” I said instead, and when I glanced at him, he had a shy smile on his face.
On the last kid, Cloud sucked in a sharp breath, causing both Trey and I to look up at him.
“Your nose is bleeding, Bones,” he said, his voice rising in alarm.
“It’s ok.” I hoped I sounded reassuring. “I’m ok.”
Trey shifted beside me, pulling out a handkerchief. He met my eyes, his gaze concerned, but steady. “Ok if I get that?”
I nodded, feeling uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to let go and stop healing this last kid. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to start again. Trey dabbed at my nose, wiping away the blood in a strangely intimate gesture. Once I finished, I pulled my hands away and chills wracked my body. Cloud’s eyes widened further.
“She’s gonna be ok, Cloud,” Trey said, wrapping an arm around my waist to steady me. “She just needs some rest.”
“Cloud, go tell the other kids.” Gods, I was so tired. “Tell ’em to come back here right away if they don’t feel good.”
Cloud nodded and darted down the ladder. One of the kids I’d healed started to cry. I looked in her direction and started to stand, but Trey’s arm tightened around me.
“No, you’re taking a rest,” he directed.
“But—”
“Bones.”
“I should stay up and see if any more sick kids come.” I leaned on him, still shivering.
“You have to rest,” Trey chided. “Remember how sick you got when you burnt yourself out?”
I grimaced.
"C'mon. Let's go down the ladder, you can lie down, and I'll keep an eye on the kids, ok?"
I nodded. I hated resting with people still sick, but as I shakily made my way down the ladder, I couldn't deny my body was nearing burnout. Trey made sure I drank some water and tucked me in like a child.
“I’ll keep watch,” he murmured. “Just rest, ok?”
I tried to mumble in agreement, but I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.
He let me sleep for three hours before he woke me back up and I started rounds again. It took just two days for hundreds of people to get sick. The more I healed, the more I believed this had to be the same disease that killed so many of the Reapers. Just like before, medicine had no effect. Only my healing powers made a difference. Last time I hadn't been able to use my powers on anyone besides Juck and Vulture. This time I saved almost everyone, but it took a huge toll on my body. I barely slept, dragging myself from shack to shack, healing until I reached the edge of burnout. We started taking a horse, usually Violet, with us on rounds because, by the time I finished, I couldn't even walk.
There was something so unnatural about this illness. Every other disease I’d ever healed felt natural, no matter how severe. I’d read about viruses and germs, and I knew they were made of the same materials as human bodies. This was different. It didn’t feel normal. It felt alien, like an oozing darkness, and when my healing power connected with that darkness, it fought back. Instead of healing a sickness, it was like I waged a battle every single time.
Zip fell sick a couple of days after Silver. When I healed him, I didn't miss how his eyes kept flicking to Trey waiting by the door before narrowing on me again with suspicion. I hadn't seen him since before he left, and I had to fight the feeling that I'd done something wrong. He didn't say anything, but unease still swirled through me the entire time I healed him. He demanded a kiss before I left, and I obliged, hoping it would ease the anger he'd voiced that I couldn't stay and take care of him. He made a show of it, kissing me while his hands roamed my body. I hated it, but I let him.
