To crave truly trials of.., p.1
To Crave Truly (Trials Of A Morta Book 4), page 1
To Crave Truly
Trials of a Morta: Book Four
Bailey Grayson
Crowe Abbey Press
Copyright © 2024 by Bailey Grayson
1st Edition
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organisations, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, duplicated, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior written consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without similar condition including this condition being imposed in the subsequent purchaser.
This one is for my Beta Readers: Alexis, Cristina, Danielle, Dee, Noreah, Skye, Tory & Valarie. Without you Lori wouldn’t have made it to the end of her story. So, thank you, you absolute beauties xx
To Crave Truly
Have you ever felt responsible for the fate of the world?
I did and it was sitting heavy on my shoulders. The end is coming and I don't know whether I will save the world, or destroy it. With the help of my lovers and friends I was on a journey to discover my fate and I'm not 100% sure that I'll survive.
Contents
Trigger Warnings
Recap
Prologue
1. Chapter One
2. Chapter Two
3. Chapter Three
4. Chapter Four
5. Chapter Five
6. Chapter Six
7. Chapter Seven
8. Chapter Eight
9. Chapter Nine
10. Chapter Ten
11. Chapter Eleven
12. Chapter Twelve
13. Chapter Thirteen
14. Chapter Fourteen
15. Chapter Fifteen
16. Chapter Sixteen
17. Chapter Seventeen
18. Chapter Eighteen
19. Chapter Nineteen
20. Chapter Twenty
21. Chapter Twenty-One
22. Chapter Twenty-Two
23. Chapter Twenty-Three
24. Chapter Twenty-Four
25. Chapter Twenty-Five
26. Chapter Twenty-Six
27. Chapter Twenty-Seven
28. Chapter Twenty-Eight
29. Chapter Twenty-Nine
30. Chapter Thirty
31. Chapter Thirty-One
32. Chapter Thirty-Two
33. Chapter Thirty-Three
34. Chapter Thirty-Four
35. Chapter Thirty-Five
36. Chapter Thirty-Six
37. Chapter Thirty-Seven
38. Chapter Thirty-Eight
39. Chapter Thirty-Nine
40. Chapter Forty
41. Chapter Forty-One
42. Chapter Forty-Two
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Also By Bailey Grayson
Trigger Warnings
Hi Lovely Readers,
Thank you for picking up the final instalment of Lori's journey. However, I do need to warn you that there are some things in this book that may trigger you. It's not a dark romance, but I wanted to include these as they can be triggering for some people.
Mention of suicide / Suicidal thoughts
Blood play
Graphic scenes of a sexual nature
Violence
Bad language
Low self esteem
Grief
Mention of past abuse
Death of a family member
If you, or someone you know needs help, then please seek it. Your mental health is so important and it's okay to ask for help.
Recap
I just wanted to add a little recap as Lori's final instalment has been a long time coming.
So, here we go…
Lori was a cocktail waitress who got kidnapped by a vampire (Jasper). He took her to the Conclave (a secret place for Supes to hide) and she discovered that she wasn't entirely human. Turns out she's supposedly the key to a prophecy that will end the world. She ends up soulbonded to a demon (who later turns out to be Lucifer himself) and he kidnaps her at the end of book one.
In book two, she cements her bond with Lucifer, ends up being protected by a Shadow Fiend (Torsten) and also bonds to Jasper. She discovers she has mage powers, find out Fenris is engaged to someone else right before she kisses him and goes to a Yule Ball where all Hell breaks loose. Camael (a Warrior Angel) is there to kill Lori and end the prophecy before she gets a chance to fulfil it. Camael ends up killing Cassian and Lori. Iveri (a demon created by Lucifer to be Iver's companion) takes control of Lori's body when she dies and this is how book two ends.
Book three sees Lori trying to balance her and Iveri as they now share the same body and mind. She ends up meeting Mordecai (the Original Vampire and one of Lucifer's creations) who is determined to kill Lucifer and take the throne of the Underworld for himself. Lucifer's power is weakening and, with Lori's help, they manage to persuade Selene (the Original Witch and another of Lucifer's creations) to save Lucifer. However, Mordecai sets the transformation in motion for Lori to become a vampire. Fearing that Mordecai will take her, she orders Torsten to kill her. As Selene finishes performing the spell to save Lucifer, Mordecai arrives and compels Lori to leave with him. Torsten, unable to refuse Lori's previous command, snaps her neck. When Lori awakes next, she is feeding from Mordecai and this is how book three ends.
Turn the page to find out whether Lori gets her happily ever after…
Prologue
Fenris
Iwas so tired. Tired of pretending everything was okay. Tired of putting one foot in front of the other just to make it through the day only to have to face the same desperation and madness eating away at me the next day. Tired of not being good enough, or smart enough. Tired of having to constantly brace myself for the impact of his words and hands. Tired of letting him continually strip pieces of me away.
There was nothing left of me. Nothing but the hollow shell I could see in the mirror in front of me. I hated that I looked like him. Like my father. That every time I saw my own face, I saw him.
I swiped my hand across my cheek, wiping away the tears I’d lost track of counting.
Pathetic. That’s what my father would say. All because I was letting my emotions show. I was an embarrassment to him. The mighty Octavius Crowe, head of the Arcane Forum, leader of our people. My dear old dad.
I scoffed. Maybe I was pathetic. After all, I was hiding out here in the bathroom instead of schmoozing it up with the mages out there. My father wanted me to network. I would be inheriting his position in the Forum and that meant I needed allies. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t what I wanted, it was the way of the Crowes. We stood tall, showed no emotion and we ruled.
I looked at myself again and weeped. How did I end up here? I felt lost and adrift. Cracked and broken. Maybe I was beyond saving at this point. Was there anything left of me even worth saving?
I stared down at the gun on the counter in front of me. Wouldn’t it just be easier to end it all? I wouldn’t be there to embarrass my father anymore. But more important than that, I wouldn’t be able to feel anymore. The pain. The sorrow. The aching desperation to just be seen. All of it gone.
I’d have to remove my magic first. Become human so my powers wouldn’t try to save me if I pulled the trigger. But I had the amulet for that. I pulled it out of my pocket and placed it next to the gun. It was such a small, innocuous thing. A plain gold disc with small runes carved around the edges. It wasn’t much to look at, but it had been difficult to find. Not that that had stopped me. I’d had determination on my side when it came to my own demise. I’d carried the amulet with me for such a long time, it’s weight heavy in my pocket and even heavier on my soul and, as I stared down at the items of my destruction, I realised, there was no one left to care if I was gone. No one would notice. But that wouldn’t matter. Because finally, finally, I’d be free.
Chapter One
Lori
Istared at the man in front of me and my body turned to ice.
“What have you done to me?” The words tasted like dust.
Mordecai smiled back at me. “Only what was meant to be done.”
My heart gave a giant lurch in my chest. The thud of it hammered in my head as I tried to organise my thoughts.
“Am I…?” I couldn’t even form the words.
“Yes, little one.” His red eyes gleamed with misplaced pride. “You’re a vampire.”
Nope. No way. This couldn’t be happening. My mind tried to piece together what had happened, but it was all a blur. The harder I tried, the harder my pulse pounded in my ears. My vision turned hazy, and my lungs burnt with the effort of trying to just breathe. I tried to reach out to my demon, and my shadow mage magic, but I couldn’t reach any of it. It felt like they were buried, caged somehow. I couldn’t even catch a glimpse of them.
“Calm down, Lori. You need to take a deep breath.” His voice was soothing and instantly sent a wave of calmness over my mind. The room faded around me until all I could focus on was the sweet caress of his voice.
Wait a minute.
“Stop that.”
His grin widened. “Stop what?”
“That whole mind mumbo jumbo thin
“Impressive. Most new vampires can’t tell when they’re being manipulated. I knew I’d made the right choice in you.” There was a possessive glint in his eye that made my stomach churn uncomfortably.
Fear trailed an icy finger up my spine, and I shuddered. I was cold. Why was I cold?
I looked down and yelped.
“Why am I naked?” My voice was a squeak as I frantically tried to cover up my bare skin. I looked back at Mordecai. “Why are you naked?”
Oh, shit.
“Did we…?” Do the horizontal tango? Get down and dirty? Urgh, I couldn’t even say it.
I mean, he was ridiculously good looking, with the long silver hair, beguiling red eyes, and sexy grin, but the guy pretty much kidnapped me and turned me into a vampire. I was going to have serious doubts about my sanity if I’d done that with him.
His sexy grin widened. “No, little one. We did not.”
Phew. Not crazy then. That would have been awkward. Especially if I couldn’t remember any of it. Which would have been a shame because he looked delicious and—
Dammit. Focus, woman!
“Besides, necrophilia isn’t my thing,” he said as he slipped into a blood red silk robe.
“Huh?”
He handed me a similar robe which I immediately put on, grateful I was no longer standing there with a practical stranger in nothing but my birthday suit.
“You’ve been unconscious for two days.”
My jaw dropped. “Two days?”
“Mm-hmm,” he muttered softly. “It seems to have taken you longer to transition into the vampire state than normal. I stayed with you to make sure nothing untoward happened to you.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “And we had to be naked for that because…?”
“It aids the transition. I am your sire, and as such, being close to me as you change makes the process easier.”
“And that’s all?”
“Yes.” His voice dropped and there was that possessive glint in his eyes again. I’d have to ask Jasper if that was actually a thing or if Mordecai was taking advantage of me.
Oh, God.
“Where’s Jasper?”
Mordecai scowled at the mention of my vampire’s name. “He’s fine. He’s occupied running some errands for me.”
I took a step closer to the vampire. “I want to see him. Now.”
His face hardened and his hand shot out to grip my throat. “Do not make demands of me, little one.” His nails lengthened into wicked talons and a mouth full of deadly sharp teeth snarled in my face. “I am in charge here. Not you. Do you understand?”
His grip tightened.
“Yes,” I forced out from between my teeth and his grip immediately relaxed.
“Good,” he hummed, all traces of his outburst vanishing. “Don’t forget it.”
“Or what?” I goaded. Stupid mouth.
He dipped his head and ran his tongue up the length of my neck. “I’ll rip this pretty little throat to pieces.” He pressed a soft kiss against my cheek before releasing me. “Now, get dressed. We have work to do.”
“Mordecai—”
He pressed a finger against my lips. “Please refrain from using my name in public. Call me Master.” I snorted. “Or Sire, if you prefer.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. Don’t make me imprint the command on your mind, Lori.”
I shuddered. There was no way I was going to let him have any sort of control over me. I guess I’d have to play along until I could find a way out of here. Because I was definitely getting out of here. Wherever here was.
“Fine. If that’s what you want, Master.”
His nostrils flared and his tongue darted across his bottom lip. “Good girl. Let me know if you get hungry. You’ll only be able to feed from me until your first thirst is quenched.”
Oh, great.
“Can I take it in a bag to go?” Anything would be preferable than having to put my lips on his skin again. He might be beautiful to look at, but I knew there was a monster buried underneath his skin.
His eyes flashed and he bared his teeth. “Absolutely not. You will take it from my vein.”
“What difference does it make?”
“It’s not natural.” He scraped a talon down my neck and sent a shudder through me. “Scared you might enjoy it?”
“No.”
He laughed softly. “You don’t sound convinced.”
I wasn’t. I remembered the taste of him. The sweet, glorifying, delicious, taste of Mordecai and I knew, somehow, that taking it from a bag wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying as drinking directly from him.
My eyes dropped to his jugular and my mouth instantly watered. There was a sharp sting as my canines elongated in my mouth. My stomach tightened as a new hunger flared to life. A hunger for him.
For his blood.
Mordecai wrapped a hand around my waist and pulled me closer. “Go on, little one. Take what you need.”
And I did need it. I needed it like I needed to air to breathe. It was an inferno that raged through my veins, pushing me towards his neck. The hunger burned, and it was going to keep on burning until I’d satisfied it.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I was doing something monstrous, something that would make me feel shame, but I couldn’t resist the call of his blood. However much I wanted to.
Tears stung my eyes. “I can’t… don’t make me.”
“It’s okay, Lori. You need to.” Mordecai’s eyes softened slightly, turning this from a strange mind game into something more intimate. “It will only get worse if you wait.”
Already I could feel the hunger growing and bringing with it a stabbing pain deep in my gut.
I hated him for doing this to me. How could he be my enemy and my saviour all at once?
I suddenly doubled over in pain, the hunger raging through me with the force of a tsunami.
“Lori! You need to feed, or you’ll die.”
His voice snapped something inside me, and I sank my new fangs into his neck. The relief was immediate, like lightning firing energy through my nerves, making my body sing in sheer bliss. Mordecai moaned by my ear as I drank deeper, pulling more of his blood into my mouth to satiate the thirst that had me in its grip.
My hands tangled in the strands of his beautiful hair, yanking his head further to one side to give me better access.
“Fuck,” Mordecai hissed as I started to gulp his delicious life force.
Oh, God. He tasted like the sweetest nectar, rich and honeyed, and it set off a throbbing ache deep in my core.
I wanted to pull away. I wanted to stop but I couldn’t. I was a slave to this madness.
Mordecai’s hands tightened around me as I gorged myself, holding me tighter against him. Power danced through my veins with every mouthful, fuelling my body and filling me with a restless energy. No doubt a sign of how powerful his blood really was.
Then I was ripped away from it all.
“Enough.” Mordecai’s voice was a low, lethal growl tinged with a command I could feel slither along my skin.
A delicious warmth settled in my limbs and the hunger dissipated into something more manageable.
“Better?” Mordecai raised an arrogant eyebrow.
A wave of nausea washed over me. I was feeling better. Oh, God. I’d just fed from the bastard. But that wasn’t the worst thing. No, the worst thing was that I’d enjoyed it. I was a monster.
I swiped my hand across my mouth, trying to get rid of the evidence of what I’d just done.
Mordecai laughed darkly. “You need to come to terms with what you are, Lori. Otherwise, you’ll never survive.”
“Why did you do this to me?”
“Because it was prophesied. This was inevitable.”
That goddamn witch had a lot to answer for. If Millicent Blackwood was still alive, I’d hunt her down and kill her myself. Her little book of revelations was becoming the bane of my existence. She’d written that I was somehow part of a plan to destroy the world with Lucifer which had me being chased by warrior angels and now, according to the asshat in front of me, required me to be a vampire. I must have missed reading that one.
