The setback, p.23
The Setback, page 23
“Is that the dress?” I point at a huge, puffy white bag hanging from the window in the corner. “Can I see it?”
“Oh, right, yes.” She crosses the room and unzips it, and a massive ivory silk dress falls out, with the most stunning golden, sparkling crepe overlay, piled up on one side and cascading down at an angle to entirely consume the hugely full skirt.
It’s exactly the dress I would pick.
I am entirely in love.
So of course, I can’t help gushing. “That is the most beautiful dress I have ever seen.”
Amanda shrugs. “Really? I thought it was alright, but I kind of envisioned myself in something in more of a mermaid style, maybe with a flare right at the bottom.”
I drag my eyes away from the dress and stare at Amanda, my mouth still open.
“No?”
“Why would you pick this one if you wanted a mermaid style?”
She sighs. “Mermaid was last year’s theme, I guess, and this year Vera wanted to go another direction. Every single dress we saw was huge and fluffy, like this one.” She runs her hand down it absently. “I mean, it’s fine, right? I feel like a brat, complaining about a Vera Wang gown that I got for free, but it’s not really what I had in mind.”
“I don’t think that’s terrible. It is your wedding. . .”
Amanda collapses on her bed. “I guess.”
I perch on the edge. I know I’m not Abby. I’m not nearly as close to her as all that, but I’ve known her for a while now. Amanda’s not effusive, but she gets excited. She seems. . .almost depressed. “Why are you getting married at Christmas if you don’t want to?”
“I do want to get married. I don’t have any reservations about that at all.” A single tear rolls down her cheek. “But everything around us has gone wrong. None of it is really my problem, so I can’t even be disappointed. But the thing is, I don’t really have a lot of family.” She looks at her hands.
Other than Abigail.
“I know this sounds dumb. We weren’t even friends a few years ago. But she’s stuck in the hospital, and I’m worried about her and the baby, and it feels wrong to be throwing some big party. And I don’t want to get married if she can’t come.”
I open my mouth, but before I can say a word, she crashes right along in typical Amanda fashion.
“My mom’s here, I know, and I guess that’s neat. To be honest, even after all this time, I keep waiting for her to. . .I don’t know. To disappoint me. Does that sound awful? I don’t care if she does come, but I can’t really trust her. So that leaves three hundred people I barely know, and only a few I care about.”
Now she’s really bawling, and I feel like Abby or Eddy or someone else who has a name ending in y should be here handling this, but too bad for Amanda. The B team is the only one not benched. “So cancel it,” I say.
She looks up then, and she quits crying. But then she starts to hiccup.
“Cancel it,” I say.
She shakes her head. “So many people already have plane tickets, and my mom’s here, and Eddy will be upset.”
“He might be upset. The plane tickets thing, well.” I shrug. “It’s your wedding, Amanda.”
“But it’s just one day, and the marriage is the important thing.”
I flop back on the bed. “I keep telling myself that, too. My wedding is at least as big a disaster as this one.”
“Why?” Amanda’s peering down at me now, and with the light behind her head, she’s almost glowing.
Is it because she sort of resembles an angel that I completely break down and tell her all my stuff? I ramble on and on about how I wanted a big wedding this time, full of all the people here in Manila that Will loves, the people I left when I married stupid Charlie. I want my new in-laws to have the exact party they want. I want Aiden to really be able to welcome Will as his father.
But I also want to adopt this little baby. I tell her about my infertility issues, and about my fears that we’d never have any other kids. I tell her how worried I am about Beth insisting that she has to leave, and about my secret fear that Beth might change her mind.
“And now that Aiden knows, I’m especially worried.” I close my eyes. “What if she doesn’t change her mind, but then she hates me forever because of it?”
Amanda flops back on the bed next to me. “I have no idea what to say. I’m not Abigail.”
I laugh, but my laughter turns quickly to tears. “Neither am I.”
“My advice may not be very good,” Amanda says. “I’m a little selfish, as I’m sure you know, but I do know Beth a little, and I know you a little more. You’re both really good people. That little girl is lucky to have both of you. She has a happy home right now, and that’s more than either of us had. So for the adoption, with how much you love each other, I bet it works itself out in the best way.”
She’s not telling me I have nothing to fear. She’s not telling me Beth won’t change her mind, or that she won’t resent me for taking her baby. But she is telling me that the baby will be loved, and I guess maybe I lost sight of that.
Isn’t that the most important part?
Family can be messy. And messy is uncomfortable. But the worst part isn’t when it’s messy. It’s when it’s hollow. It’s when there’s no love there to smooth over the mess. She’s right—Beth and I may have some bumps ahead of us, but we love each other, and we both love that little girl.
“Thanks,” I say. “As an Abigail fill-in, you’re not terrible.”
Amanda laughs. “That may be the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me.”
That makes me laugh, too.
“And one more thing.” Amanda sits up, and then she pulls me up. She’s looking right at me, intently, when she says, “I need a favor.”
“Okay.” Now that neither of us is crying, I’m beginning to feel a little guilty for not being home when it’s Aiden’s last night with me for a week.
“I want you to take my wedding.”
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t even want it. It’s become something I don’t recognize.”
“What are you saying?”
“You love the dress. You like the Christmas wedding idea. You’re worried that February won’t be soon enough.” Amanda smiles. “You actually want the whole town to be present. And anyone whom we didn’t invite that you want, you can put in the empty seats from my New York City friends who won’t come.”
“Amanda.” I’m already shaking my head.
“Hear me out.” She’s smiling, and it looks like a peaceful one, not an awkward, smug, or giddy smile. “We can blame the storm. We can tell people we’ll reschedule.”
“But then you’ll wind up in the same boat that you’re in now.”
She shakes her head. “I’ll just elope. The people who matter can still come. And hey, maybe my dad and brothers can make it too if we put this off. Actually, this is perfect.”
“But you got all that stuff for free because it was for your wedding.”
She shrugs. “They wanted me to post about it. Other than the gown, I’ve posted about everything. I can still snap a photo of that. . .on you. And when I announce that we’re postponing our wedding, well. That’ll be such a crazy announcement that will get so much interaction that Vera Wang will forgive me. I’m sure of it.” She shrugs. “Or if not, you might have to pay them for the dress.”
“Which would be totally fine.” I look at the gorgeous gown I was jealous of a few minutes ago. “You know, growing up, I always wished I had a fairy godmother. I figured mine must’ve been a drunk or something.” My laugh’s a little forced. “But maybe she was just dealing with her own stuff up until now.”
“I like that,” Amanda says. “I get to be a fairy godmother.” She tilts her head. “Does that mean I should wear something white and fluffy to your wedding, and maybe stick a tiara in my hair? I think I know some kids who could loan me their wings.”
“Maybe on a day other than my wedding that used to be your wedding.”
It starts to sink in, then. “Will Eddy be upset?”
“You know, probably because he’s a vet, Eddy rolls with things remarkably well. And I’ll tell him we can still take the honeymoon.”
That reminds me. “I wonder if I can get stupid Charlie to switch weeks with me so Aiden can be here for the wedding. Then he could go stay with him while we go on a honeymoon.”
“Will Manila survive us both being gone for a week?” Amanda’s beaming. She looks three times as happy right now. If anything was going to convince me to take her wedding, this is it.
“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” I say.
“Since I’m giving you a wedding,” Amanda says, “do I have to get you a present?”
I can’t help laughing. “I think you’re covered.”
“You better go tell Will, and I’ll call Eddy.” Amanda walks me out, still talking about wedding details she hadn’t mentioned. “Oh! And I can give you these ornaments. You just need to print up photos and replace ours and they’ll be from you guys instead.”
“Oh, great,” I say.
“What are you talking about?” Mandy asks.
“I’m giving Donna my wedding,” Amanda says.
I expect Mandy to be disappointed. “Glory be,” she says. “And I’m not a bridesmaid in your wedding, right?” Her eyes look practically desperate.
“No. . .?”
She cackles then, and I realize that I picked the right answer. “Hallelujah, it’s a Christmas miracle.” She points at Amanda. “I was about to come shout at you. That new dress we ordered came in, and it’s worse than the last one.”
“You can put it in the rag bag now for all I care,” Amanda says.
“What a brilliant idea.” Mandy turns toward me. “And now you’ll be married with plenty of time to deal with that new baby.”
“Exactly,” I say.
“What did you just say?” Amanda’s mother’s standing in the hallway in a ratty Metallica t-shirt and striped pajama pants.
“Oh, hey, Mom. You know how I’ve been all stressed out about the wedding?”
Her mother shakes her head. “No. I forbid it.”
“What?” Amanda looks confused.
“You have to get married in a week. I’ve been here helping.”
“Mom,” Amanda says, “I’ve already decided. And I am so much happier. This is the right call.”
She shakes her head. “No. Either you get married, or I’m leaving.”
“That’s alright,” Amanda says. “You can leave. I know you miss Dad and the boys.”
Her mother’s voice goes almost supersonic. “I should have known you’d pull a stunt like this. You’ve always been a spoiled, bratty diva.” She says a few more choice words I could have done without hearing, and then she ducks back into her room.
Amanda looks like she’s been sucker punched.
“She’s probably drunk,” Mandy says. “It’s been a long few days.”
I’m not sure how to react to that, but when Amanda walks me out to my car, I try. “If you’re rethinking the wedding—”
Amanda shakes her head. “Not in the slightest. My mom has never been the most steady, and frankly, it’s a miracle we’ve gotten along for this long.”
I’m not even sitting in the drivers’ side yet when Amanda’s mom walks out of the house carrying a bag. “Take me to the airport,” she says.
“What?” Is she talking to me?
“Mom, stop.”
But her mother won’t look at her. “If you’re stealing my daughter’s wedding, the least you can do is give me a ride.”
“It’s dinner time.” Mandy’s on the porch, zipping up her jacket. “I’ll take you, you terrorist.”
“What did you call me?”
“A terrorist,” Mandy says. “Did I stutter?”
Amanda’s mother splutters. “How dare you—”
“Your daughter might be upset about your little ultimatum, but I’m not. So get in the truck, and I’ll drive you to the closest airport. You can sit there or go to an airport hotel, your choice, until you get on a flight out.”
“Amanda.” Her mom crosses her arms. “Are you just going to stand there and let me leave?”
“Yes.” Amanda’s nostrils flare. “Mandy’s right. You’re being unfair, and I won’t cave. It’s my wedding, and I have every right to manage it as I see fit.”
Amanda’s mother looks like a toddler who has been called out. Like she can’t believe that if she doesn’t eat her green beans, she won’t get cake. Finally, she stomps her foot and heads for the truck. I can’t seem to move as Mandy stalks along behind her, unlocks the truck, and climbs in. They pull down the drive, and then they’re gone.
“At least she’s leaving before the storm hits.” Amanda shrugs and goes back inside the house.
On the way home, before I’ve even called Will, I call Charlie. He refuses to budge one inch, of course. Not a huge surprise. “You really thought I would give up Christmas for New Years?” He scoffs. “You must think I’m a real idiot. Like you’re really planning a wedding for a week from now.”
“Forget it,” I say. “I’ll pick him up on Christmas day, at five p.m., as planned. If you’re one minute late, I’ll sue for full custody.”
“You wouldn’t have a prayer.”
“You know that I would,” I say. “After your shenanigans over the summer, and with my lawyer, you’d lose your chance to see him at all.” I’m not convinced he’d care, but his parents do, a little, I think. He needs them to like him, since they’re funding his entire lifestyle.
When I get home to see Will, I’m actually really nervous. What if he’s upset? I was so delighted, and it felt so. . .lucky. . .that I didn’t stop to think. Should I have called him?
Yes.
I’m a terrible fiancée.
What if he’s angry? What if he’s upset? What if he’s—
When I walk through the door, he’s playing hide-and-go-seek with Aiden. “Well, he’s not under the sofa.”
Aiden’s giggling from inside the coat closet, which is his favorite place to hide.
“Ah, finally, his mom’s back. Honey, any ideas where Aiden might be hiding? He’s stumped me this time.”
I burst into tears.
How could I have just decided about a wedding without asking him? He’s such an amazing guy. Too amazing. Better than I deserve.
“What’s wrong?” Will hops over the coffee table to reach my side faster.
“Mom?” Aiden pokes his head out of the coat closet.
“I’m afraid I’ve done something really stupid,” I say. “I could still get out of it, I’m sure.” Right? I bet I could. “You know how stressed I’ve been about the wedding, and the baby, and—”
Will takes my hand. “It’s going to be fine. Just tell me what happened.”
“You know I went to help Amanda, and I loved her dress, and her flowers, and the food she chose, and then. . .Amanda offered to give us her wedding.” I bite my lip.
“What?” Will blinks. “I’m not sure I understand. Is she loaning you a dress?”
I shake my head. “She’s been wanting to call hers off.”
“She’s dumping Eddy?” Will looks sick.
“No, no, nothing like that. She’s just, it’s complicated. But she feels like it’s not what she wanted. She wants something smaller, something without a lot of people and pressure.”
“Okay. But what did you do?”
I sit down on the sofa, pulling him down next to me, and I start from the beginning. “I went over there to help her, right?”
He nods.
And then I lead him through what happened, step by step, including how her mother reacted. “So really, maybe she’ll change her mind and we don’t have to do it anyway.”
Will scratches the scruff on his jaw. “So, assuming Amanda doesn’t change her mind, we’re getting married in a week?”
“The day after Christmas?” Aiden asks. “You’ll be my dad, then?”
“Well, I mean, you’ll still have a dad,” Will says. “But I’ll be married to your mom, and you can call me Dad anytime you want.”
“Will I get a special present?” Aiden asks. “Because when Mr. Steve married Miss Abby, he got the kids presents. Gabe told me.”
Will laughs. “Steve’s a smart man. I’ll have to look into that.”
Aiden nods.
“Well, if you’re worried about me being upset, you don’t need to worry. If this makes you happy, I’m all for it. My parents won’t mind, either.”
“Are you sure?”
“They’ll probably need to watch Aiden, right? The week after Christmas?”
“For our honeymoon,” I say. “If your dad can manage the ranch without you and your mom can manage the hotel and Aiden.” I cringe. “It’s probably too much, right? Maybe Charlie can—”
“Donna.” Will’s grin is practically wolfish. “They’ll manage.”
Tomorrow will probably be a whirlwind of last-minute plans, and also that storm’s supposed to hit tomorrow night, but at least for tonight, it feels like my fairy tale carriage has arrived. My prince is definitely by my side.
My happily ever after is staring me in the face, and I love it.
21
Amanda
The first time a reporter called me, I was on cloud nine. . .actually, it felt more like cloud nineteen. Cloud nine wasn’t quite high enough. I figured that if someone wanted to write about me, it must mean that I was a person of note. I was giddy at the idea that the media cared about my life.
Part of that was my desperate need for validation, of course.
But part of my excitement was that I was moving up in the world of influencing, and I knew that would be a good thing. I was tired of paying off one credit card with a cash advance on another. I wanted a steadier income and more reliable sponsors, and having a news outlet talk about me and my life, well, it felt like a way to boost my following.
